By Gabriel Manyati
South Africa’s anti-illegal immigration protests have entered a thrilling new phase, with self-appointed border patrol officers now performing duties traditionally reserved for governments, immigration departments and, on particularly ambitious days, the Almighty Himself.
Across the country, patriotic volunteers have taken it upon themselves to inspect accents, surnames, skin tones and facial expressions in a determined effort to identify foreign nationals. Armed with nothing but supreme confidence and a complete absence of legal authority, these citizen detectives have become the nation’s newest security apparatus.
In some communities, residents have reportedly developed advanced forensic techniques. A person who pronounces certain words differently immediately becomes suspicious. Anyone selling vegetables too efficiently is obviously foreign. Anybody who works harder than the average municipal employee is almost certainly part of an international conspiracy.
The movement has become so enthusiastic that many participants appear to believe South Africa was once a crime-free paradise where hospitals functioned perfectly, electricity never disappeared, potholes repaired themselves and government officials spent their weekends reading ethics manuals.
According to this historical revisionism, the country’s difficulties only began when the first foreign national crossed the border carrying a suitcase and unrealistic dreams of economic survival.
Observers have noted that immigration has become the Swiss Army knife of national explanations. Unemployment? Foreigners. Crime? Foreigners. Corruption? Somehow still foreigners. Load-shedding? Give activists another week and they may discover a Zimbabwean electrician secretly operating inside every power station.
Particularly entertaining is the belief that undocumented migrants possess supernatural powers. These remarkable individuals are apparently capable of stealing millions of jobs while simultaneously surviving without jobs. They are blamed for overwhelming public services despite often being excluded from many of those same services. Their alleged powers seem to expand daily.
The self-appointed commanders of these campaigns deserve special recognition for their tireless dedication. Few people can spend 12 hours hunting undocumented migrants while displaying almost no interest in investigating politicians who have misplaced billions in public funds.
One might assume that corruption scandals involving enormous sums of money would generate at least as much outrage as a foreign street vendor selling tomatoes. Yet the tomato vendor continues to attract far greater attention.
The irony is impossible to ignore. South Africans regularly migrate to countries around the world in search of opportunities, where they understandably hope to be treated with dignity and fairness. Yet some now insist that the very principle should stop at South Africa’s borders.
Meanwhile, the country’s real problems continue enjoying complete freedom of movement. Corruption remains undocumented. Incompetence remains unregistered. Mismanagement crosses borders without ever being stopped and searched.
If determination alone could fix a nation, South Africa would already be a global superpower.
Unfortunately, shouting at immigrants has proven considerably easier than repairing institutions.
For now, the protests continue, fuelled by frustration, economic anxiety and enough misplaced certainty to power the national grid for several decades.
